freecie:

if you put “man” at the end of any sentence its AUTOMATICALLY platonic

"i love you, man."

"stay with me forever, man."

"fuck me hard in the ass, man."

averagefairy:

u ever text someone something risky and every second that they dont respond is another spike in ur blood pressure and u stare at your hand like why did u type that u fool its over the universe is crumbling to pieces this is my demise

Monday mornings after a beach weekend
transhumanisticpanspermia:

failmacaw:

nightmargin:

W E L C O M E

B  E    O  U  R    G  U  E  S  T

these skeletons look legitimately friendly and inviting, i don’t know about you guys but i’m hella stoked to kick it with these skeletons

transhumanisticpanspermia:

failmacaw:

nightmargin:

W E L C O M E

B  E    O  U  R    G  U  E  S  T

these skeletons look legitimately friendly and inviting, i don’t know about you guys but i’m hella stoked to kick it with these skeletons

coagulates:

the worst part about ugly dudes is everyone defends them like ‘he’s really funny though’ or something but if a chick is ugly to someone they just straight up dirt like they might as well not even have a personality 

jandjob:

sleezed:

i’ll finger fuck you under the table at a restaurant then lick my fingers when I’m done I don’t give a fuck

image

Child: mommy I'm sick
Mom: yaaaaas bitch cause I am what? SICKENING
child: but mommy I've been throwing up
Mom: yaaaaaaaaaaas bitch gag on my eleganza

shutupaubrey:

team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”